Confessions of a Broken Heart
by lockofcurls
Summary: DustinTori. Dustin POV. It's killing him, but he has to keep his feelings to himself. But now, Dustin's starting to reason something and knows he can't keep this all from Tori much longer. RomanceAngst. Warning: very sad.


**Disclaimer:** _I don't own the Power Rangers. Nor does this story have anything to do with Lindsey Lohan. The title and situation are mine though._

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**Confessions of a Broken Heart**

Some days are harder than others. They deserve to be happy, I know, but I just can't help myself. It's hard to be there for them when I don't even want there to be a "them". But, I smile and joke around, because it's what everyone's told me to do.

"It'll make things less awkward in the group," says Shane. "I mean, we have to teach together at the Academy, and they're our best friends. You want them to be happy, right?"

What a stupid question. Of course I, like, want them to be happy. Just not with each other.

"She's your best friend, man. If you can't keep it in for you or us, then do it for her. They're happy together, let them have this time. If it's meant to be, it will," Hunter tries to convince me.

Man, this sucks. I mean, it's not like I haven't tried to get over it. It just blew up back in my face. Sure she was evil at the time and had to do things she didn't necessarily want to do, and sure she still tries to make it up to me by rooting me on at the tracks. She's just not _her_. She never will be, and she knows it. It sucks because I don't like hurting people.

Sometimes, I pretend that she's only with him because she thinks I don't feel the same way about her that she feels for me. That she's just pretending with him until I come to her. Then, after I confess my feelings for her, she smiles and jumps into my arms and whispers, "I thought you'd never say it," into my ear. I pull back, cup her face in my hands, and kiss her like the world's gonna end tomorrow. And just went it starts to get to the good part, someone will call me back to earth and ask me what I was thinking about.

I never tell them though.

In fact, I've never actually told anyone before. Everyone's just either guessed or assumed.

"Well, it's because you make it just so obvious, Dustin. You'll stand talking with Shane or Hunter or me, and make sure you're in a position where you can see her. We all see it, just she hasn't," Cam told me, right after I asked him why everyone assumed I wanted to be with her.

"Personally, I don't see why you don't do something about it. You stand here at the register daydreaming about her. You talk about her endlessly to everyone around you. She's the reason you haven't been on a date in _ages_! Just go tell her already. She won't know unless you tell her."

Kelly. That girl is just… _awesome_. In fact, she's the reason I'm even here right now, sitting on the beach watching Tori ride some "killer swells" as she put it. Blake's away for a few weeks for a competition with Hunter, so I told her I go with her tonight.

She looks amazing out there right now. The sun's setting and the colors, like, accent her hair or something. I don't know. It's hard for me to describe it.

I had decided that when she came in from surfing I'd tell her how I feel, but now that she's walking up the beach to me, I'm starting to question my decision.

"Oh MAN that was awesome! It's great to be back on my board again!"

The winter had finally passed and it was safe again for Tori to surf. She's only surfed two times before now. She's being on the road for the past two weeks with Blake on some promotional thing. She just got back a few days ago.

Her smile's contagious. She's, like, in her element and man, her feeling great is vibrating off to me and now I'm starting to think it's now or never.

I think she can feel something troubling me by the way she's looking at me. Sometimes it sucks having her know me so well. And dude, I hope she doesn't stop. Looking at me that is. Her eyes are just… I'm a sucker for eyes.

"Dustin, what's wrong?"

I'm sitting on the ground, my knees bent, holding my hands and leaning my arms on my knees. I sigh and lower my head, looking at the sand between my legs. She's adjusted herself to sit cross-legged on my right to face me.

"There's, uh, something I've kinda wanted to talk to you about Tor," I start lamely.

She touches my arm and I can't help but look from her hand to her as she talks. I know it's meant to help put me at ease, but it just makes everything harder.

"You can talk to me about anything Dustin. I'll always be here for you."

I kinda wanna run away at this point. I'm regretting coming here. It was a bad idea and I should just leave, but I can't. I look back at the sand. _Here goes nothing_, I think.

"Tori, I've been trying to keep this in for a long time, but I just can't anymore. It's all starting to eat away at me and it's not cool. I'm having a hard time focusing during my lessons, it's all I can think about at work. It's amazing that everyone's figured it out without me saying a thing. If I keep it to myself any longer, it's like I'll explode or something."

Her eyebrows sink lower in confusion and worry, but she's listening. I better hurry before I back out.

"Everyone's been telling me to keep it in, for the sake of, probably everyone, but it hurts. I have these feelings for you, Tori, and it's killing me inside. It has been since Blake and Hunter arrived. Since _before_ they came here. And it's all my fault because up until now I've been afraid."

By this time, I'm on my feet in front of her and my voice keeps getting a little bit louder. I'm frustrated (in more ways than one) and in pain. I'm lashing out at her when I shouldn't be, but I can't help myself right now. Nor fight the water in my eyes from spilling.

"I've had these feelings since we were in junior high. I just never told anyone. I was mad at myself for wanting you because you were supposed to be my best friend! But every time I'm close to you I can't help but breath in your scent. It's like a mixture of the beach and your fruit shampoo and conditioner and your fruity slash beachy perfume. It drives me nuts! I always hope that you coming running to me with your problems because then I can hold you and comfort you. The way you fit in my arms is amazing! It's the best thing next to motocross. The only reason why it's not better is because it only lasts a few seconds and then either _he_ shows up to comfort you more or we would get called for Ranger duty. I should have said something before but I couldn't because I was scared."

I turn around to face her and I notice she's standing, too. She was probably going to start running away but got caught before she could. No, that's not right, she's wouldn't leave me. I'm starting to breathe harder now. I'm terrified. I don't want to say it but I know I have to. She deserves to know the truth, and I deserve to tell her.

"I was scared because I didn't want to lose you." My voice gets softer. "I can't afford to lose you Tori. You mean everything to me, and if I can't have you as solely mine, then I'll settle for being friends. I don't want to, but I will."

"Why are you telling me all this, Dustin?" Her face has 'shocked' written all over it. I don't blame her though. There's no way she could have seen this coming.

She screams at me , "WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME-"

"BECAUSE I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!" I scream over her voice.

Silence.

I hate silence, so I sigh extra loudly just to put some sound out there. She's crying. Hell, I'm on my knees now bawling. It hurts so bad, but I feel some of the weight leaving my shoulders now that I've put it out there. I take a few deep breaths to say just one last thing.

"No," I shake my head, "I _know_ I'm in love with you. That's why I had to tell you."

Just when I thought I couldn't possibly break down anymore, it's like another wave of hurt crashes over me. I fall over onto my hands. I feel like I'm gonna be sick. God, love sucks.

She drops to her knees and wraps her arms around me the best way she can: her left under my neck holding my right arm, and her right on my back. She's crying on me. I manage to left my right hand enough to hold the arm she has in front of me.

"I'm so sorry, Tori," I choke out. "I love you. I don't mean to hurt you."

Her grip on me gets tighter, but she doesn't say anything. We just sit there on the beach, holding each other crying. I cry a little harder because I know this is the end.

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_Hope you guys enjoy this. I'm too tired to write the squel tonight, seeing as it's 1:15AM, but I promise to try and finish it in the morning. Thanks guys!_

**_-J _**


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